Sａｄ

I enjoy this moment of being with myself.
I had some tea and biscuit, feeling guilty. I fear my children would wake up any time soon.
I am still working. I don't know why the work at school takes me so much time and energy.
I hardly have time for myself and my family, yet it's only an elementary school job.
I work hard though.


I really hope to have the time to have tea with my mother, like when we traveled together in other countries. Lifting feet, leaning back on a couch, chatting nonchalantly.


I have experienced much illusion from this marriage. I used to feel that there was a magical pull towards him. But I cannot feel much joy. I feel that most of the time he's taking from me, demanding me to do things. I really hate that feeling; I am hating myself, and him. I wonder how I live this life.
I wonder how I can continue to love my life, my children, while taking care of my parents.
Attending the marrage of one close friend of his, who had helped him greatly from the moment he met me, till our wedding taken place, I felt so sad.
I hope him for the best though.